Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
did you get engaged???
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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