I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
