My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
