i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
