my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
