theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
