peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
