i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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