That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
