you would pick up someone in the library
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
