I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
