She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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