Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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