it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
