Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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