So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
