And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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