She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
