the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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