It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
