woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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