She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
