Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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