i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
