I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
