I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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