Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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