I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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