i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
