Dual....:-)
People in love make me want to vomit
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
