You're a womanizer and a bitch.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
