it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
