So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
