I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm just crazy horny about you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
