Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
