At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We need to rekindle our bromance
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
