it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
