I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
