If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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