I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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