If that was your dad, he is hot
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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