I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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