You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
