one might say we're banned from that church
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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