She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
