you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
