I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
