i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
