Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
