God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
