An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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