Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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