Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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