Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
