your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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