We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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