i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
