This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
